Comparison: A Toxic Parenting Trap

It’s easy. It’s so easy to slip into comparing our kids to other kids. And usually we’re doing it with good intent. Maybe we want them to feel better about themselves. Maybe we want to help them build confidence in their own abilities or gifts. But is comparison really the best thing to use to encourage our kids?

Negative Effects of the Comparison Trap

No parent enjoys seeing their child struggle or suffer under the weight of low self-esteem. We all know it’s important to provide positive feedback and encourage our child’s development. But we might not be aware of the long term detrimental effect of using comparison as a default to boost our kids’ self-perception.

Cultivating Healthy Emotional Development

When your child is having a hard time, it’s far better in the long run to help him develop effective ways to build confidence that don’t involve comparison. Children with a support network of family members and friends have an opportunity to explore their own gifts and their own needs. The best way for them to develop a healthy view of themselves is not by comparison to other people, but by appreciating what it is that makes them different or unique.

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Building a Healthier Relationship

If this is something you’ve struggled with in the past, or a pattern you realize you’ve fallen into, you don’t need to give up hope. There’s always a second chance for trying new ways of building up our kids. You can refocus on many different forms of positive encouragement that help your children appreciate how they are wired and gifted regardless of how they compare to different people.

The Raising Lifelong Learners Podcast Episode #192 – Comparison: A Toxic Parenting Trap

It’s easy to slip into the temptation to compare our kids to others because it’s the easy, even lazy, way to quickly build our kids up and help them to feel better about themselves. What we might not consider are the unintended consequences and the emotional fallout that can result when we compare our kids to each others or other kids and especially when we do that out loud in front of us. In today’s episode, I’ll help you to see the impact of comparison and how you can change course and adopt a healthier way to encourage your kids and build their confidence!


Links And Resources From Today’s Show:


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