It’s easy. It’s so easy to slip into comparing our kids to other kids. And usually we’re doing it with good intent. Maybe we want them to feel better about themselves. Maybe we want to help them build confidence in their own abilities or gifts. But is comparison really the best thing to use to encourage our kids?
Negative Effects of the Comparison Trap
No parent enjoys seeing their child struggle or suffer under the weight of low self-esteem. We all know it’s important to provide positive feedback and encourage our child’s development. But we might not be aware of the long term detrimental effect of using comparison as a default to boost our kids’ self-perception.
Cultivating Healthy Emotional Development
When your child is having a hard time, it’s far better in the long run to help him develop effective ways to build confidence that don’t involve comparison. Children with a support network of family members and friends have an opportunity to explore their own gifts and their own needs. The best way for them to develop a healthy view of themselves is not by comparison to other people, but by appreciating what it is that makes them different or unique.
Building a Healthier Relationship
If this is something you’ve struggled with in the past, or a pattern you realize you’ve fallen into, you don’t need to give up hope. There’s always a second chance for trying new ways of building up our kids. You can refocus on many different forms of positive encouragement that help your children appreciate how they are wired and gifted regardless of how they compare to different people.
The Raising Lifelong Learners Podcast Episode #192 – Comparison: A Toxic Parenting Trap
It’s easy to slip into the temptation to compare our kids to others because it’s the easy, even lazy, way to quickly build our kids up and help them to feel better about themselves. What we might not consider are the unintended consequences and the emotional fallout that can result when we compare our kids to each others or other kids and especially when we do that out loud in front of us. In today’s episode, I’ll help you to see the impact of comparison and how you can change course and adopt a healthier way to encourage your kids and build their confidence!
Links And Resources From Today’s Show:
- SPONSOR: CTC Math
- When One Child Has A Diagnosis And Their Siblings Are All Neurotypical
- Forget the Box | Embracing Your Child’s Otherness
- Helping Our Children: The Lies Anxiety Tells Us
- The Powerful Relationship Between Confidence And Learning In Our Homeschools
- RLL #71: Resiliency and Why Our Kids Need It
- Anxiety vs. Stress vs. Perfectionism: Helping Our Children Cope
- Perfectionism And Gifted Children: What You Need To Know
- Managing Perfectionism: 10 Tips for Helping Your Gifted Child
- RLL #55: Helping Your Child Manage Perfectionism
- Celebrating Your Child’s Neurodiversity
Leave a Rating or Review
Doing so helps me get the word out about the podcast. iTunes bases their search results on positive ratings, so it really does help — and it’s easy!
- Click THIS link to go to the podcast main page.
- Click on View in iTunes under the podcast cover artwork.
- Once your iTunes has launched and you are on the podcast page, click on Ratings and Review under the podcast name. There you can leave either or both! Thanks so much.